There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.

– French Proverb

This used to be one of my favorite quotes, however, my newest, favorite quote is: “There is no pillow so soft as clear pee.” OMG – another debacle in my short ultra life. Where to begin. Keep this one short Mike. I don’t have the energy nor the creativity to put forth a true, Polka Dot Shorts style race report. I’m sick of writing about DNFs. I’m tired of long drives home thinking about what could have been. I’m tired. I’m tired of ‘double edge swords’, tired of ‘glasses half full’, tired of perspective, tired of looking on the bright side of things, tired of saying “this experience will pay dividends down the road” or “I’m making a deposit that’ll pay with interest.” All I want is to be rewarded for my hard effort and sweat equity put in building up to these races. What the heck!

Did I fool you? I haven’t lost my way yet. I’m still happy with the effort this weekend. I’m still positive. I did learn an awful lot…again. DNF = do not forget. I will not forget this EXPERIENCE. It will only make me better. What am I talking about? Here’s what happened at this weekends Pineland Farms Challenge 50 Miler - in a very short, but sweet, weekend race report.

Pre- Race

Met up with Crash (Paige), Jeremy (Atayne), and Rebecca (Jeremy’s fiance and soon to be better half) on Saturday in Portland, ME. Jeremy was kind enough to let us grab carpet in his home.

Crash & I grab our race bibs at the Maine Running Company and some grub in the Old Port.

We meet Michael Hanes & Patty Duffy for dinner, stories, and laughs at the Portland Pie Company.

Head back to Jeremy’s, organize all gear and drop bags, Jeremy and Rebecca make a Free Hugs poster courtesy of Atayne :)

I share an air mattress with Crash on Jeremy’s floor, have a bad dream she doesn’t remember, and get a good night of sleep.

Race Day

Wake at 4am.

Out the door at 4:30, head to Dunkin Donuts, arrive at Pineland 5:15 ish.

Share coffee (we brought a glorious Box o’ Joe that people loved), make new friends, drop off drop bags.

Race starts at 6am – meet up with Mike Hanes, Patty Duffy, Jamie Anderson, and Jeff LaBossiere at the starting area.

The race starts – I’m running with Jeff and feeling GREAT.

Jeff makes a pit stop, I decide ‘today is my day’ and keep on truckin’.

Through the first 18.5 or so miles in approx 3 hours. Get a hug from Atayne, all smiles.

I run by myself most of the race since leaving Jeff. I’m in between the front runners and mid-pack.

After the first 18.5 miles there’s two more 25k loops. Second loop, running alone, but feeling good, real good.

Mile 28 or so I pass the start finish area, feeling great, but have a slight cramp in the leg developing – stop, massage, stretch, all good.

Keep on truckin’. Feeling good. Haven’t pee’d in a while, maybe I should. Oh, crap. My pee is RED. No. Not now! Really? Fear enters.

I lobby a few runners on what to do. What does red pee mean? I get a zillion different answers, some scarier than others (e.g., kidney failure), but all ending with stop and see a doctor.

This is a first for me. I walk the next half mile or so to an aid station and ask for the quickest route off the course to the start/finish area.

I walk another half mile or so to the start / finish area and no medical person! OMG. Ian Parlin, the RD, tells me it could be an electrolyte deficiency.

Since I’m feeling good physically, I decide to wait it out and see how things progress – I drink and eat a ton over the next couple of hours.

I cheer on fellow runners. Seems to be my thing these days :)

My parents call, tell me they have already left Burlington, and I realize I have to drive 4 hours home after the race to take care of Jackson (my dog)

I head back to Portland, grab all my stuff, pee again – it’s now dark brown, and head back to the race to see Crash finish.

Sitting in my lawn chair, burger, pasta, and Vitamin Water on hand I witness Crash finish her 50 miler – excellent effort!! 10:17 finish!

First thing I notice, she has scrapes and dirt all over her arm and leg. OMG – you fell again! On this course! She is deserving of her name for sure.

Long Ride Home

No music. Only thoughts.

What did I learn? What went wrong?

Long ride home.

Positives

1. Very well prepared
2. Good night sleep for a change
3. I ran strong, training is working – got through 50k in a hair over 5 hours, my best yet.
4. I can break 8 hours on a 50 miler.
5. Met some awesome people, including Trail Monsters, Trail Animals, and GAC members. All had excellent performances

• Patty Duffy – qualified for Vermont and smashed expectations despite tough shin splint issues – way to go Patty! 9:32
• Michael Hanes – son of Ultra Runner Steve Hanes, his first ultra in 8:32 – 17th overall – I’m jealous, quit now.
• Jamie Anderson – Trail Monster, great runner and personality, 8:40 – Good luck at Western States!!
• Lorie Label – GAC, 3rd woman 8:04 – she passed me more than a few times – was very nice to chat with
• Emma Parlin (aka Gnarls Barclay) – Trail Monster, 2nd woman 7:52 – funny better half of Ian Parlin
• Jeff LaBossiere – Vermont, 8:37 20th overall – we run together in Vermont
• Kelly Wilson – Vermont, 8:40 1st Age Group! – way to go Kelly!!
• Chris Haley – Trail Animals, 8:45 – we ran together for a while
• Clinton Morse – Trail Animals, 9:31 – briefly chatted with him at some point
• Tim Reif & Kristen Evan – awesome people, met them at Fells as well
• Steven Wells – big ol’ cheering party for me – thanks Steven! 15th at Massanutten Trail 100 – yikes! Trash ran with Atayne last year
• Eric Fardland (sp?) – volunteering to fullfil VT100 requirements, great supporter, met him while running in NH a couple weekends back
• Jeff Walker – Trail Monster, volunteer and excellent dude – trash ran with Atayne in Maine last year
• Ian Parlin – Trail Monster founder, RD, and fellow trash runner with Atayne last year

Negatives

1. I pee’d blood
2. Need to adapt better to hotter conditions and adjust electrolyte plan of action
3. Maybe I should have seen the slight cramp at mile 28 as a sign…

Questions

1. Should I have stopped?
2. Should I have walked it off, tried to rebalance, and continued on?
3. How can I make sure this doesn’t happen again?
4. Should I make myself pee earlier in the race to check and adjust hydration/electrolytes? I didn’t have to go until 5 hours in.
5. How many calories should I be taking in per hour?
6. How many S!Caps should I be taking per hour? One, two…more? I sweat a lot.
7. I went harder than normal, but felt good, should I adjust my fueling strategy as I go harder?

About the Race

The Pineland Farms Challenge gets 10 thumbs up…if I had 10 thumbs. Ian and Erik put on an unbelievable race, in a beautiful farm setting, on a challenging yet fast course. The fact that it’s 100% runnable is what makes it difficult. I ran past some big ol’ cows, across grassy farmland, through well stocked and zany aid stations with enthusiastic volunteers, ate like a king at the end, could have drank like a fish if I wanted to, and listened to an excellent band to boot. The awards, though I didn’t receive any, were hand crafted for the top finishers and every finisher got a cool cow bell, shirt, beer mug, and hat. This is one of the most organized and fun races I have ever been to. I will be back for revenge next year, and the year after that, and the year after that…I’m hooked. Great job Ian, Erik and all the volunteers. Thank you! If you’re interested in other races Ian has a part in, please check out the Bradbury Mountain Races.

Monday

Pee is normal. I’m not dying :)

15 mile trail run at the Catamount Center to regain my spirits – felt great.

Figuring what I’ll do this weekend to jump start my mojo

Keep it clean,

Mike

(who does stupid, fun things like this to make people laugh)